Listening to Grenade from Bruno Mars.
And the story of a guy on facebook I knew came across my mind.
HMMMM..Everyone would have gone nearly insane for some reasons, they don't feel they can take this over and lastly they chose to commit suicide.
Last year, a guy told me that he wants to suicide.
Just a random guy on facebook who attempted to find some one to talk, and tadaa I was the one. Still can't believe that I was such a kind person, even wasted few hours on explaining to him the wonderful of lives.
And I got a totally clear mind of why he commits suicide in the future:::
BECAUSE He's a 90kg fat guy, a lonely and pity 20 years old++ boy.
The moment I first received the message from him saying that he wants to suicide later, I was like.....What The Hell Are You Kidding ME...????
Hmm, have almost forgotten to say that I'm just a 17years old girl. And once again...this incident happened last year.
He said he's the one who dumped by his parents, they didn't really dumped him though, yet didn't really bother of what he behaves like, I personally think a child who was ignored by parents is really pitiful though I didn't get through it.
I sympathize with his unhappy experience, even now, I would still make the same decision of convincing him not to suicide and being thankful of what he has had.
OH BTW,
Before all these, he asked me the ways to loss weights.
He said he has been suffering from self-contemptuous for so many years since he was a kid due to his weight problem. The first moment I received the 'challenge' of giving him advises on losing weight , I had already felt so much stress.
The stress is not meant to giving advises on losing weight, yet refers to talking to someone who has such a radical-minded person. Like, you have no idea what he's going to say in next second....
After giving lots of ideas how I decreased my weight, he started to treat me as his true friend, (he said that noone has become his true friend ,and finally he found one, which was me.)
I was totally terrified!!!!!
Ohmygosh, god damn it I only tried my best of giving him opinions nia, also added some motivating sentences in our conversation lar...but I don't think that my words had the power of making some one treat me as true friend just in 3 days.
Hmmm, maybe he indeed wistfully wanted a true friend, and my words made me the one.
So at the end, as a kind person (LOL) , I didn't express my fear to him saying what aiya I don't want to be your friend la...
I continued chatting with him on facebook for following weeks and days, putting so much efforts on convincing him being thankful to his current life and should kick the thought of suicide away.
I thought he would listen to me, but he just kept saying :"I truly appreciate you treating em as your friend , but please stop convincing me from doing that, I decided."
Few days right after he said this to me, he disappeared.
His name disappeared from my facebook friend list , I searched his name and got no result.
I can do nothing.
